A Wife And A Mom

Salam semua :)

Well, it's already Monday.
If diikutkan, 2 days lg untuk my interview.
Penolong Pegawai Tadbir N27.
Sounds good, right? Another opportunity, another choices, just another, --- .
Again, I have to repudiate it.
Yes again.
Mm..kinda sad actually..yet dunno what to do.
but takpelah, perhaps mmg nilah yg terbaik for me.

Haritu last tny hubby lg, cmne interview ni nnt,
then maybe after die pk2,
die ckp, stick kt first plan jela..yg first2 dulu tu.
Where we both have agreed that I just jd fulltime mom & housewife - for Eva's sake.
Up until she's totally fine & besar sket maybe.

At first hubby kinda ok if this time I nk g / grab this opportunity,
even dgn mase tu tak jumpe2 lg all my certificates bagai ( misplaced mase pindh xsure ktne)
Carik punye carik, Alhamdulillah, dah jumpe semua.
So dgn gembirenye & agk confident, pk kompemla ni nk g je interview tu kott..
Days gone by, sampailaa haritu, tny hubby, then itu pulak keputusannye..
So, redha jelah, accepted it, go with the flow jela.
Ok laa mule2 yes kinda disagree jugk, idk..
Confuse pon ade..Yla, ade gk terfikir, 'is this my call to fight for it?'
'is it time yet to try?'
Mmg, mule2 rase nk sgt try and pegi jee interview ni,
cz I know, interview gov kott, susah nk dpt pggilan 1 hal, 
and dah g interview pon tak  semestinye akn dpt keje tu - sbb org dlm bgai,
so tu la just pk 'ala g jela kot'
Then ade gk pk, 'ni ujian Dia ke, petunjuk ke, unt keje blik & change my lifestyle?'
I mean to a working mom plak? Even mase tu meleleh gk laa bile tgk muke Eva
and pk ape hubby ckp, 'if dpt, first thing kne buat is pisahkn hun dgn Eva,
die dgn xnk susu botol lgsg etc,...' Pandang muke Eva, die tgh senyum2 
kt mama then gelak2,
Okayy it's totally hurts! Mmg tak thn & tak terpk cmne.. :{
So terpk, is this a test for us? ( me & my sugarbug Eva )
Terngiang2 jugk ayt 'bersusah2 dahulu bersenang2 kemudian'
still, that time, just stay with going je, kuatkn jugk smngt..
Yada yada yada sampailaa that final day tny tu & now..

Well, bile pk2 balik, maybe inilah yg terbaik. Furthermore, deep inside ni,
I do love being a fulltime mom.
And sabar, redha, dalam patuh terhadap suami tu kan perkara yg
terbaik & kinda jaminan ke syurga. InsyaAllah.
Hubby ckp, 'actually, d lg suke if hun yg didik ank, jge sepenuhnye semua kt rumah,...'
Yes darling, me too. It's just, yeah, perhaps I'm too used to being independent.
And perasaan nk membantu dr segi ekonomi keluarge tu always ade.
Dah biase ade duit sendiri, keje, etc. But takpelah after almost 3 years tak keje, 
takde carik keje etc, so, kinda terbiase jugklaa being a fulltime housewife ni kn.
It's a pleasure, sure it does. And actually keje2 housewife+mom nh 
lg berat dr keje laen tu. huhu.
Umm, takpelah, insyaAllah nnt bile dh sesuai, adela rezeki lg 
& insyaAllah sgt terbaik mase tu 
nnt kot kn :) Dia Maha Mengetahui dan sebaik2 Perancang. :)
Just  ade terfikir, kot skrg ni tersalah jln. Tp bile pk2 balik, kn Dia suruh kite sbgai isteri ni
taat pd suami, selagi perkara tersebut tidak melanggar hukum & batas2 Islam.
Jadinya, I can conclude, ' guess I'm in the right way' - moga ditetapknlaa hatiku ini Ya Allah..

And yes, org2 lain mcm2 boleh berckp - dan mcm2 boleh pndg kite ni & keadaan ni.
It's ok. Nothing and no one's to blame.
Some just wanted the best for me, some may just a thought, and some, it's ok,
cz they've never walked in my path. :)

And again, terfikir / ter relatedkan dgn akhir zmn ni.
Well, maybe, InsyaAllah, this is the right choice and the best.
Akhir zaman Akhir zaman Akhir zaman.
Allahu. :(

Moga dilindungi kita semua.

Speechless.

Thank you all. Aamiin.
Wassalam. :)